Same place, different time

So, its been almost a year since I blogged, because my life is just more of the same. Tonight I am sitting here, waiting on my husband who was leaving the bar at 10:30. It is now 1:18 and I haven't heard from him since. I feel so lonely in my marriage. He rarely goes out, but when he does, he refuses to come home. It really make me wonder where he really wants to be. Even when he is home, he is drinking and ignoring me. I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation.
Maybe I am just having a pity party, I don't know. But, to me, this is not how a marriage is supposed to feel.

Another lonely night

So, here I am sitting at home, watching my husband and three of his friends playing cards. The babies are trying desperately to play with their daddy. I spent the day laying around, just maintaining my house, did laundry, dishwasher, put supper in the crock pot. However, my house seems to have exploded. My husband won't put his stuff away, and my kids keep getting stuff out. At least now they have someplace to put their stuff when they are done playing! It is only 5:15 and I want to put the babies in their room with a movie and go to bed. Instead, I am stuck, refreeing my husbands card game. I have to go figure out something to feed the babies, and a way to feed them w/o the kitchen table.

BFN

So, after getting the faint positive, I took another pregnancy test yesterday morning, and it was a big fat negative. I don't know for sure what that means, but I am assuming it means I am not pregnant. I spent the day cleaning again. I put our Christmas decorations away, rearranged the living room, and started in our bedroom. I got my side of the room cleared off and started on Tim's side, it looks so much bigger with the exercise equipment rearranged. There is only so much I can do in our room for now, but hopefully it will help a lot. I am trying to reclaim our bedroom as our own, slowly but surely. Any organizing suggestions would be greatly appreciated!